Too young for you, bro.

If she didn’t use Encarta for school projects, she’s too young for you, bro.

If she never made a Word document busting fancy borders and WordArt, she’s too young for you, bro.

If she never looked for codes in Wingdings after 9/11, she’s too young for you, bro.

If she’s not scared of this guy, she’s too young for you, bro.

If this red screen along with shooting Germans and scary dogs never freaked her out, she’s too young for you, bro.

If she never randomly clicked the screen hoping not to click on a bomb, she’s too young for you, bro.

If she never enjoyed Mnet Open Time, she’s too young for you, bro.

If she never called her mom off a payphone to fetch her from school, she’s too young for you, bro. (Thanks @nickevansnow)

If she never had the joy of mothering one of these, she’s too young for you, bro.

If she doesn’t remember when landline numbers only had 6 digits, she’s too young for you, bro.

If she doesn't remember when cellphones couldn't vibrate, she's too young for you, bro.

If she doesn't remember when cellphones started vibrating, she is too young for you, bro.

If she's never had a hotmail address, she is too young for you, bro.

If she didn't know that Facebook used to force you to speak in 3rd person, she's too young for you bro.

If she doesn't understand the internal conflict about being the pink or yellow Power Ranger, she's too young for you bro.

If this man/movie never blew her socks off, she's too young for you, bro.

If she never had the joy of releasing one of these gentle fairies of happiness into the blue, blue sky, she's too young for you, bro.