Last year I lived with one other girl and six guys. It was the best year of my life. The bond that is created by living with people under such circumstances is one which i will cherish for the rest of my life. However, there are times when you want to kill one another. You just want to tear out their eyeballs and shove them down their throats, before sticking their heads under the toilet seat and bashing repeatedly until their brains begin seeping out their ears.
But sadly, this isn’t an option.
RULES TO LIVE BY SO NO ONE IS CHARGED WITH MURDER:
1. Don’t move in with your best childhood friend. You are too close already. When you move in with people, you need that initial “getting used” to one another phase, where you are considerate and lovely and wonderful and lying about every one of your irritating quirks. You and your best friend are too close already and living together will be a strain on the friendship. If something irks you, you are more likely to snap, then ask them politely to stop.
2. During that initial phase, be yourself. Spend time with each of your housemates individually and in a group. Get to know one another backwards. you may be hiding from them, that when you eat beans you fart like an elephant for three days, but for now thats ok.
3. Girls - Seriously, is it such a mission to put the toilet seat down if it happens to be up? Why should guys have to move it everytime. Don’t be so difficult.
Guys - Us girls need to actually sit on the toilet when we go to it. Everytime. So, if you happen to be a “wee-with-the-seat-down” kinda guy, DONT WEE ON THE SEAT! This is often the centre of most issues.
4. If you finish the toilet paper, go get a new one. I mean really.
5. If you happen to have particularly smelly feet, don’t leave your shoes lying around. Also, don’t just whip off your shoes when you sit down to watch TV. It’s pretty gross.
6. If you eat something and you see that someone left a plate in the sink, clean them both. Its not such a big deal. Don’t think “if they left theirs, i will leave mine” or you will live in a pig sty.
7. Dont be “that person” who always leaves their plate in the sink.
8. Who ever cooks; doesn’t have to clean. This must be set in stone, or fear the repercussions.
9. Girls - Weekend is sport TV time. Accept it. It isn’t going to change. Guys- Dont take advantage.
10. And the cardinal rule of guys and girls living together in complete and utter bliss? DO NOT HOOK UP WITH ONE OF YOUR HOUSEMATES. You may as well just shoot yourself in the foot. Or slam your own head with the toilet seat.
Well written. Good advice.
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