Sweet Dreams Are Made Of...

My friend had a dream:

“I was walking down the street when suddenly pigeons began flying at me so I started to run. And every time I tried to hit them away, they would suction my fingers with their bums and when I ripped my hand away, it was covered with bird poo.”

According to what claims to be a world-renowned dream analysis site, the above dream means that her dream means the following:

She has a slow and steady progress towards her goals (walk), yet gossip or news (pigeons) means that she is not confronting her fears (running) resulting in pent up anger and frustration (hitting the birds). She feels drained (suction) and needs to loosen up (bum) but is not sure if it’s something she can control (poo).

My pigeon-poo-fearing friend didn't agree. She doesn’t feel pent up anger or frustration and certainly isn’t worried about gossip or news. I happen to agree with her and have taken it upon myself to delve into my enlightened-side, and give my own deep and meaningful interpretation of the dream:

She is scared shitless (poo) of pigeons (pigeons) ever since a week before the dream, a pigeon stole (suction) part of a sandwich out of her friends hand while they were walking (walk) together. They screamed and ran away from the pigeon (pigeon). Everyone laughed at them and they felt like real asses (bum).

See, I totally am a Gypsy.