New Years Shmnew Shmears

For weeks I have been trying to remember last years’ New Years’ resolution without any luck at all. Whilst searching in my cupboard for a pen to write this very blog, I found myself eye to eye with a glimmering bottle of vodka, which was staring me down, calling me stupid and daring me to drink it. It was being mean. I then remembered.

The realisation that my pathetic attempt at a resolution last year, and for the past 4 years, has been to stop drinking so much, whacked me smack-bang in the middle of my alcohol-infused kidneys.

I’m sick of resolutions which I can’t keep. Especially ones which I don’t want to keep and just say I’m going to do because it makes me feel like a better person. Because when I break them, I feel worse. And that’s no fun at all.



So New Years’ 2011 is going to have resolution list with a difference and hopefully this time, I will keep it. If not, I’m a seriously, sorry case.

1. Goodbye Tequila.

No more tequila shots. It tastes like you just licked the inside of a heavy smokers lung. Except Patron, which is the obvious exception because I just can’t say no to that coffee/chocolately goodness. Or if someone has bought it for me without my consent, because not drinking it would just be a waste and it’s bad to waste.

2. Hello H2O.

We are told that we must drink 8 glasses of water per day because otherwise we will get fat and unhealthy and die. I’m willing to take that risk because sometimes I just don’t want to drink 8 glasses of water. Sometimes I want a Coke. Sometimes I want 5 cups of coffee. Sometimes, heavens forbid, I want a beer (or 7). I will however, plan to drink at least two glasses per day, which is going to be tough as Sea Point water tastes like absolute poo.

3. K.V.L call home.

I don’t live in the same city as my parents and I will be honest, I don’t call them often enough. It’s easy to get carried away with your own life, forget where you came from and that there are people back home who would love to hear from you. I’m not saying it will be every day, but just more.

4. SMILE!

Stupid drunken posing in photos needs to stop, ‘nuff said.

No matter what anyone says, New Years’ is over-rated. From the average clubs, to the average vibe and the average 12am forced hook-ups with whatever man-bear-pig happened to be swaying drunkenly next to you on the dancefloor. People so often expect too much from it and year after year are heavily disappointed. So stop stressing. Don’t write yourself some hefty resolution list which you won’t keep, do something simple, which at the end of the day, will make you happy.

And remember, 2 bottles of Vodka, 2 bottles sparkling rose, 5 bottles fruity chick drink of your choice (peach or watermelon go well), 1 bottle fruit cocktail cordial and 2 litres of lemonade, chucked in a tub with lots of ice, will make any average day, an awesome one.