Dear Internet, this is why you suck.

1. Happy birthday dear... me?
If it is someone's birthday, why are you posting photos of yourself with them? Why can't it just be a nice photo of them? Are you reminding them that you are their friend? Please make me understand.

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"Why do guys always stop me in the street to tell me that I'm pretty? It's so creepy!"

2. Tell me more.

Tell me more about how everyone loves you. Tell me more. 

76kgs of unhappiness.

FYI: I am not being paid for this. I am not receiving free things. I even had to give the watch back after I reviewed it. I am writing this from the heart of a human, not an asshole blogger.

I've never been a very big person. But because I am 1,73 with quite broad shoulders and hips that don't lie, I've also never been tiny. Three years ago I started writing restaurant reviews, and since then I've steadily put on kg on top of kg. 15 of them to be exact.

“I would rather eat what I want than die skinny” - I've always said. And it’s true. But when I was honest with myself, I wasn’t happy. Three quarters of my cupboard didn’t fit anymore. I started only wearing baggy tops, pretending that it was just my new style. I've tried to find some photos to explain the change - but I can't. I hid in my clothes and didn't take many photos. But still, I've been lying to myself and pretending that I was fine with it. "I don't wear bikinis because I'm too old for them". Yeah, sure Kayli.

Things I learnt in 12 hours on Tinder.

Tinder is a mobile dating app that uses geolocation to show you other Tinder-users in your area. You pick the gender, the age bracket and the scope of the area up to 160km away. It links to your Facebook so you see your mutual friends, a few Facebook photos and your shared interests. With a simple swipe to the left, you say, "no no no" to the potential marriage material. And a swipe right means you would. You ONLY find out if someone is interested in you, if you were also interested in them. Pretty cool.

Some things I learnt in 12 hours on Tinder.

1. Yelling out "shan't!" every time you say nope to someone will eventually piss off your flatmate.

2. Tinder makes you really fussy.

A whole bunch of no.

I made a meme.

It's taken me 25 years to make a meme. And now I have. And I am oh so happy with it. I am going to print it out and carry it around with me. Just in case someone asks me to do something I don't want to do. For example...

"You've been neknominated!"