New Year Resolutions that EVERYONE should be doing

1. Don't be a dick.

2. Thank people when they let you in front of them in traffic.

3. Don't be an asshole.

4. Stop throwing shit out your car window.

5. Don't be a bitch.

6. Refill the water jug in your fridge.

7. Don't be a cow.

Unless you're this cute, smily cow

8. Stop telling people what to eat and what not to eat.

9. Don't be an idiot.

10. Remember that you're alive. Live. 

Another one of those sad posts

This is another one of those sad posts... Forgive me.

I keep saying that I just can't wait for 2013 to be over. Bring on 2014! Yay! Excitement! A fresh start! Happiness! I've managed to convince myself that a new year will make 2013, and everything that came with it, seem like a thing of the past.

But it won't.

Nepotism: Because I Can.

My sister is an incredible human being. Our whole family has forever and always been involved in the food industry in some way. And she being the odd one out, has always loved baking. So much so that she COMPLETELY SELF-TAUGHT herself how to make these incredible creations, over and above her full catering service.

But they're not just beautiful. They also taste delish, are dairy-free, and she can try accommodate for other allergies.

I am so exceptionally proud of her - so here is my little blog full of nepotism. Sue me.

Please like her page on Facebook and give her a little (lotta) love.

How not to be an asshole PR agency that everyone hates

I recentlyish wrote a post called, "How not to be an asshole blogger that everyone hates" - and quite a few of you felt that it was time that it was said. But now it is time to turn it around. You know what, some bloggers deserve to be taken seriously. Very seriously. Because blogging, whether you like it or not, is a serious profession.

HOW NOT TO BE AN ASSHOLE PR AGENCY THAT EVERYONE HATES

1. Dear Blogger.

Weird story, my name isn't blogger, media, press or guest! So, if you can't take the bloody time to write my bloody name, or GASP, get bloody database software to do it for you - then I seriously don't have the time to read your bloody email.

2. Hey, hey hey hey! I have a press release for you! Hey hey hey!!!

Well hello there, Sparky. Yes, I have seen your press release. All 539 of them that you've spammed me with in the last week. And yes, while they may "be ready for immediate release" - guess what, I don't wanna. And guess what else? You can't make me. So stop asking, and send some real content please, or everyone will hate you.

3. The "no-release" sulker.

The only thing worse than getting a million press releases is being questioned on why you don't post them. Seriously? Everyone hates you.

4. We had a party, you weren't invited.

"Hey there, last week we had the launch party of Very Fancy Brand, at Very Fancy Venue, and all these Very Fancy People were there. But we didn't invite you. However, please write about it!". I hate you. 

5. Have this. Now write.

There isn't much more I love (pronounced: hate) more than snide emails about not reviewing a product that I've been sent. Unless previously discussed, how could it make any sense to think that sending a R20 bottle of wine would ensure a review? Really? Does that bottle go towards my rent? Will it pay the bills? No. Will it take up space where something else better, and more interesting could be? Yes. So no. 

6. We promise it is great, we promise.

On the other hand, I've been sent reviews of products and asked to post them as if they were mine. All you're saying is that my opinion is obviously of no interest to you, and you really don't care about my integrity. I don't even have words to explain the hate.

7. Expo$ure.

"Hi there, we would like a review, blogpost, banner ads, tweets, and Facebook posts. We'll pay you in exposure on the brands page". LOL! LOLOLOLOL! When you start off, exposure is cool - it's a foot in the door. Don't ask someone who has been blogging for years to work that hard for exposure. Pah-lease.

8. Drink and Drive.

"We're having a big wine tasting party. We want you to come. However, it is really far away and you can't bring a partner to convince to be the designated driver and we aren't organising transport." There is so much wrong with this. Firstly, I don't have a big company to pay my petrol for me. I can't afford to cab all the way there. If you want me to taste everything, I need to drink it or I can't give an opinion. Yes, true, I could spit out the wine. OR YOU COULD ORGANISE TRANSPORT.

9. You're invited... for R300 bucks.

The amount of times I get "invites" asking to attend an event, give it exposure beforehand, then write about it afterwards - but I have to pay to attend, is frightening. Firstly, don't call it an invite. It's not. You don't invite someone to pay. Secondly, you're asking me to PAY YOU, to work FOR YOU. And if I say that unfortunately I will not be able to attend, don't keep asking why. But you know what? I hate you.

I am sure there are more of these. If you have any to add, let me know...

10. Kayu Lee

This is an adaptation of point 1. Oh, good start, you tried to get my name in the email. But I have been so many variations of Kayli Vee, I am starting to wonder what my name actually is. And what's worse, my name is in my email address. HOW DO YOU GET THAT WRONG?! (Thanks @LeeLipman for the thought)

11. No takesies backsies

"Hey Kayli we would love you to review our brand new Fancy Shmancy Product!" "Cool! I would love to!" "Great! We just want to know what you really think of it! And to have fun!" "You guys are the best!" "And then give it back after a week." "I hate you". 

Go on, stick your neck out [post and competition]

Sometimes I get invited to weekday events that I have to turn down because of my day-job. Every time it happens, a little part of me jumps up from my desk, and runs crying and screaming out of the window.

But the other day the stars lined up and I was invited to an awesome event the day before my birthday – which also happened to be a Monday. GUESS WHO DECIDED TO TAKE LEAVE?  

Laughs, steak and drinkies for two from HQ [competition]

Ohhhh, I love me some steak. Ohhhhh, I love me some chippies. Ohh, I loooooove me some comedy. And guess what, I have some for you guys!!! Shit son, I'm kind.

The nice humans at HQ have given me tickets for comedy and a three course dinner for 2. Give them a round of applause.

So here's the story, to enter do the following:

1. Follow @kaylivee on twitter
2. Follow @HQcapetown on twitter
3. Tweet the following:

Hey @kaylivee I would love to win me some steak, chips, drinks and laughs with you and @HQcapetown http://bit.ly/18Iuqb5

FOR AN EXTRA ENTRY:

Comment here with a joke. I like jokes.

Okidokes, that's all.

Smooches.

Happily Ever Active - Virgin Active Cinema Ad

Just a little more shameless self-promotion. Have a peek at our new Virgin Active cinema ad, which forms a part of the Happily Ever Active Project.

As always, let me know what you think.

It's a girl thing

There are certain things in life that guys just don't understand. Things they will never experience the utter joy of. Sorry guys, this ain't for you. Girls, let me know if you can think of any others.


1. An obvious one, whipping your bra off after a long day. In the morning a bra makes you feel like you have the perk of an 18 year old, by the afternoon it's a chastity belt from hell.

BE FREE BOOBIES! BE FREE!

Pink Hair Shows You Care

I HAVE PINK HAIR YAY!

Well, not really.

But this very cool campaign by Great Lengths Hair Extensions and their participating hair salons means that I (and my friendies) paid R100 for one pink hair extensions. ALL profits go to the Cancer Association of South Africa (CANSA).

These 100% human hair extensions may not be a natural colour, but they move naturally and feel natural. Once you wash your hair with the extension, it moulds to your hair type! It can last up to three months unless removed earlier.

A Grand Affaire - Sunflower Fund Fundraiser (competition)

The Sunflower Fund was formed in 1999 to help The South African Bone Marrow Registry (SABMR) in their efforts to educate, find donors and save lives.

"Due to the 1:100 000 chance of finding a compatible donor, at least 100 000 donors are needed for a Registry to function effectively and in South Africa, the Registry should ideally have 400 000 donors representative of all ethnic groups."

This year they are having a fabulous fund raiser at The Grand and I have two tickets worth R1300 to give away!

For R650 you'll get welcome drinks, a "floating feast", entertainment from DJ Fresh, Rory Eliot and Ard Matthews. Plus there will be a silent auction and plenty lucky draws on the night. 

Competition

To stand a chance to win two tickets to this event:

1. Follow @KayliVee and @SunflowerFund on Twitter 

2. RT my original tweet about the competition

3. Tweet @KayliVee and @SunflowerFund saying who you'd bring to the event.

If you don't have Twitter, comment on this post saying why you want to go!

Tickets must be collected from Cape Town Central. 

Got my nails did.

I love me a little bit of pampering, but my purse really doesn’t. Spas and “commercial” beauticians charge a fortune I just don’t have. BUT THEN I HEARD ABOUT SHEREEEEEEEN! (Thank you @PrettyMintBlog) Can ya tell that I am excited?

Shereen is fabulous. She is lovely and sweet and professional – but because she works from home she doesn’t have the overheads that force her to charge an arm and a leg. She also honestly just doesn’t want to rip people off.

1 month later.

It's been a month since my dad passed away. And I still seem to be sane. Most of the time at least. It's 11:30pm and I am writing this in bed, counting down the minutes until the exact month. I probably shouldn't. But my brain seems to want me to.

A month. A month without a dad. To be honest, it's pretty shitty. One day I'm ok - at peace with what's happened. The next day (or hour, even) I'm so furious at the world - angry that we are born ultimately to suffer. Things are more the former than the latter, but those times are very, very dark.

In Grey's Anatomy (excuse the reference) George tells Christina that he can't imagine living in a world where his dad doesn't exist. Christina tells him that it never really goes away, then welcomes him to the "Dead Dads Club" - a place that you're never in, until you are in, and that she is sorry that he had to join.

My Darling Dad, I miss you.

Four weeks ago, I tried not to listen as a teenage girl rushed into the ICU and was told that her father had passed away.

I sat cross-legged on the floor of the waiting room, as her cries grew louder and louder. Just the night before I looked over at her as she chatted to her father, and felt a wave of jealousy as my dad lay in a coma.

If you've kept up to date with me on twitter, you'll know bits and pieces of what's gone on in my life over the last month. My dad, aged 70, had a stroke.

Top 10 Reasons Why Miley Cyrus Should Matter To You

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Too young for you, bro.

If she didn’t use Encarta for school projects, she’s too young for you, bro.